My answer may not be perfect, but this is an interesting situation - even though we‘ve only heard one side of the story ... (no, I‘m not playing "devil‘s advocate" - I‘m just leery of finding somebody guilty, in absentia, having heard only partial, hearsay evidence)
On a "recruit" course a while back, I was given the task of teaching the period on harassment (the logic being that we would demonstrate how serious we were on this subject by having the course commander teach the period). As you may recall from my recent posts, however, I get frustrated when "trendy, politically correct" agendas usurp our traditional, tried and true methods (however ... I digress).
I did my best to make sure I got the point across, and tried to give them clear, straightforward examples of how to deal with a bully "by the book" (in a nutshell, the first step would be to stand up for yourself and tell them you didn‘t appreciate being bullied, or harassed as it‘s called today. The second step would be to enlist the help of your friends, either if the bully persisted or if you were too afraid of the bully to deliver the initial message yourself - this alerts your friends to the situation, so they can look out for you ... ).
Anyway, we were amazed at the events which unfolded shortly afterwards - it turns out a younger, smaller member of the course had been the target of some bullying, but she was able to bring it to an abrupt halt when she enlisted the help of a couple of the biggest guys on the course - Presto! The bullying stopped, and candidate esprit de corps surged upwards when they realised they were really a team, looking out for each other ... just the same way they‘d have to do it on the battlefield (where the only harassing that belongs is fire directed at the enemy)!!!
So, what‘s my point?
First step would be to directly tell the offending person to stop.
Second step would be to get some help from your friends, either to deliver the message (if you were too intimidated to do so yourself), plus this helps you corroborate your story (i.e. obtain witnesses, but be careful - "two wrongs don‘t make a right").
Third step is to tell somebody higher up - if your immediate superior is involved, you have to ensure the message is heard even higher - by the way, most units have an exceptionally "willing ear" in the form of their padre (and a clever padre can, in turn, discretely whisper in the right ears without compromising ethical or legal rules, i.e. "... you might want to keep an eye on ..." is all it takes to make certain the right person gets the message - it‘s not that difficult to do "diplomatically", a.k.a. "no names, no pack drill" ...).
And, while it all sounds so wonderfully simple, and it seems obvious justice and right should prevail, the unfortunate truth is that all of us are only human - try as we might, sometimes "life just isn‘t fair" (heck - sometimes when I‘m feeling down I wonder whether somebody nominated me as poster child for "life isn‘t fair" ... chuckle).
If the problem can not be resolved, and the offending person does not get their "just desserts", I guess the final decision is whether you want to go in harm‘s way with this person in your unit (personally, I would not want to always be "watching my back").
Feel free to e-mail me directly if anything I‘ve said is confusing, and I will try to clarify my opinion (if it‘s of any use to you).
Dileas Gu Brath,
M.A. Bossi, Esquire
