CT from NWO to INT :/

[dimsum]

Being honest with people is probably one of the biggest leadership principle that we're shit at

PAR debriefs enter the chat

And realistically, how many people meet the one that is for them in their late teens? Making major life decisions based on a partner at that age never seems to turn out well.

Bingo. Not saying that OP won't be happily partnered with their...partner for the rest of their life, or to drop them immediately because of some strangers on the Internet, but there has got to be some expectation management.

 

[Navy_Pete]

PAR debriefs enter the chat


Bingo. Not saying that OP won't be happily partnered with their...partner for the rest of their life, or to drop them immediately because of some strangers on the Internet, but there has got to be some expectation management.

About a third of all Canadian marriages end in divorce, so a lot of people think they've found the one then reconsider.

But it's possible to be married and supportive of your partner while not always being home. Quantity is it's own quality for kids, but for adults doing their own thing and being a full self actualized person that compliments their partner seems healthy. If I had passed up on doing things I wanted to do I'd probably have been divorced years ago, and similarly if my wife hadn't done things for herself that she wanted to do.

 

[btrudy]

Let's take another example. Someone in Week 2 of BMQ wants to leave the CAF because they hate Basic Training. They did not say they hate the CAF.

You, as their staff, know that it's not like that in X trade afterwards. Would you then agree that they should VR, or maybe suggest that it's not like that after Basic and that situations can wildly change?

To OP: I still suggest that regardless of your trade choice and whether you switch, if you haven't done so, talk to your girlfriend about the moving/deployment/time away and see what her thoughts are about it all.

I mean, sure...

But if someone is telling you that they don't like being away from home so much, then we know very much so that a career as an NWO does involve a boat load of just that.

And telling people what they want to hear is the way to go?

Some jobs require a lot of travel; and I have peers in industry that work much longer hours and travel more than I do currently. Not a big deal, but if being at home is the top thing in your life, there are a lot of careers that just won't accomodate you, and the CAF is also probably not for you. Being honest with people is probably one of the biggest leadership principle that we're shit at, which includes passing up the chain that we really need to pump the brakes on the ops tempo if they want us to actually rebuild.

No, but within the CAF there's occupations that travel more and occupations that travel less, and NWO is definitely (at least given the current ops tempo / staffing levels) one of those that will be travelling more than most. Someone who isn't interested in a whole hell of a lot of sailing / being away from home should... get advice that helps them make choices with that in mind. Not just being told that at their age they should want to be travelling a lot.

When people tell you what they want, listen.

 

[dimsum]

I mean, sure...

But if someone is telling you that they don't like being away from home so much, then we know very much so that a career as an NWO does involve a boat load of just that.


No, but within the CAF there's occupations that travel more and occupations that travel less, and NWO is definitely (at least given the current ops tempo / staffing levels) one of those that will be travelling more than most. Someone who isn't interested in a whole hell of a lot of sailing / being away from home should... get advice that helps them make choices with that in mind. Not just being told that at their age they should want to be travelling a lot.

When people tell you what they want, listen.

What you’re saying would make sense if the OP didn’t join as an NWO. If they didn’t know that NWOs were gone at sea a lot, then that’s just a failure of the recruiting system and/or expectation management.

Not to extrapolate too much from OP’s first messages but it looked like that getting a girlfriend made them second guess their trade, not just wanting to stay close to home. That’s why I suggested that they talk about time away in general - what level of time away from home is the girlfriend willing to put up with? Does that match what they want?

To OP: If the girlfriend wasn’t in the picture, would you want to be travelling and going on operations? Or would you want to stay close to home anyway?

 

[Weinie]

I mean, sure...

But if someone is telling you that they don't like being away from home so much, then we know very much so that a career as an NWO does involve a boat load of just that.


No, but within the CAF there's occupations that travel more and occupations that travel less, and NWO is definitely (at least given the current ops tempo / staffing levels) one of those that will be travelling more than most. Someone who isn't interested in a whole hell of a lot of sailing / being away from home should... get advice that helps them make choices with that in mind. Not just being told that at their age they should want to be travelling a lot.

When people tell you what they want, listen.

I want you to engage, as per the above, in civil and courteous discussion on this site.